What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
