Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
