We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize