Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
