Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
