Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
