I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
