was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
