only if we run a train.
done.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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