Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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