hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
