You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
