So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I touched a dick in church today
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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