They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
