We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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