mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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