I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
