Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I intend to get homeless drunk
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
