Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
