You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
this will be a night to untag.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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