you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
