addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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