I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
