what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
