I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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