So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize