We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
