Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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