I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
