Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
