You're so nebulous sometimes
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
