please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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