What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
