so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
