This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
A bitchslap is in order.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
