omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
