and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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