Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
