I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
