North Korea, Best Korea!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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