after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Im part way to drunk.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
