In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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