It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
