He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
