addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
