She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
