When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
