she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
