absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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