I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize