this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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