I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We had sex on a dog bed..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
