Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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