from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am full of burrito and curiosity
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
