I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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